Vancouver, BC, Canada, 11.37PM. Setting: stormy night at Canada TV6 where a meeting has just started.
TV6 Boss: Mr.D? What a fail. We need something fresh...
TV6 Diana: Osama?Boss: No
TV6 Daniel: Fatty boom booms
Boss: No fatty
TV6 Sara: Dead people- Hhahahahah.
Boss: Perfect!
Sara: I was joking
Boss: Since you came up with it, off you go.
Setting: Small town out of Vancouver. Sara and her mic.
Using special Al Qaeda technology worth over $6,000,000 USA, Sara is able to set up a special network for the dead to be interviewed using a Al Qaeda membership netbook. It usually takes 2-6 hours, as the dead are quite often asleep. Meanwhile a India company called ISSTC (India Super Secret Techno Centre) is trying to keep the dead permanently awake (active without moving or being zombies) using the power of the sun and the energy of one cup of coffee made by a TV3 presenter. Also IEMSTC (Indian Even More Secret Techno Centre) is trying to make the dead more calm when in awake mode by playing a variety of John Lennon's greatest hits.
Sara waits in till she has a reading. By 5.09AM she has 1 dead person online:
Sara chats to her dead person by using a Facebook like chat. Heres how it went:
Sara: What sort of person were you during your lifetime?
Dead Man Jack: Fat. I ate McDonalds every day. I was 31 when I died. That was 20 years ago, my mum is still up that house you can see up that hill...
Sara looks up at the nearest hill to see a dark house with a little bit of light just lighting the farms below.
Dead Man Jack: That darkness you can see is my mum. She hasn't moved there since I died.
Sara: Whats it like being dead?
Dead Man Jack: It's OK I guess. No more heart attacks constantly. A hey hey hey.
Sara: Fat Albert?
Dead Man JACK: No JACK.
Sara: Oh yeah.
DMJ: Dumbo
Sara: Any down sides?
DMJ: Yeah it's kinda hot down here in my coffin. I awaiting my train to either Heaven, Hell or new life.
Sara: How long till you go?
DMJ: Well, there was a guy called Joe who was next to me for a while. He left 5 years ago to heaven. He'd been down there 50 years. So 50 years till I go.
Sara: Where is the train?
DMJ: If I look past my feet I can see a underground subway station. Thats where I last saw Joe.
Sara: A Underground station?
DMJ: You living people cant see it.
Sara: So how is being dead different than being one of the living.
DMJ: I cant feel. and I can see about 97% more than humans. I can also watch a video of my life on this mini screen down here.
Sara: How do you communicate at night?
DMJ: Well, when you've got people around you, like little Matthew who was 4 when he died, you can chat to them. Poor old Matthew is in a very sad position he only died last year. It's really hard living without your mummy. Sometimes I sing to him to make him better. But in other cases we have a small meeting hall for all the dead in this graveyard to attend, it's underground near the station. About 80 people of 90 in the graves attend. There's also Sunday Church for the Christians and a University for the young ones that have a desire for learning.
Sara: Thanks so much Jack.
DMJ: Thank you Sara. And look out for old MJ, he's most active at night.
